Alexander's Journal

Anchored and Consistency

For the past three years, I was living in an apartment with my friends, or living with my girlfriend in Boston, or even now where I’m living in an awesome apartment with my brother.

Despite having a roof on top of my head for all that time, I still felt that I could never relax or really call any place my “home.”

It’s definitely a feeling I’m missing and I remember loving when I was in my first apartment when moving out of my parents. I felt anchored and I knew that despite everything that was going on, I felt safe in that small enclosure.

But for a plethora of different reasons, the next following months and years have felt different.

In parallel, I also felt that my life was pretty much all over the place. I’ve gotten a new job, lost it, and tried to find a new job while also balancing a long-distance relationship with my now fiancée.

Since then, I’ve also had my ups and downs in terms of habits. I started meditating and then stopped. I started going to the gym, then stopped and then re-started again, and then stopped once more. I used to read books every day, and now I leave them to accumulate dust.

There’s something about knowing where you’re going to be for the next months/years that just helps your mental all around. Especially for someone like me, that struggles with consistency.

I need that routine and mundane because the more I move around, the less I’m able to establish those new habits that I’m trying to form.

I feel that 2023, especially mid to late 2023 is going to be game-changing for me. A lot of the uncertainty of the past few years is finally gone and I can finally focus on finding consistency in my life by being anchored in one location.

We’ll see what happens, but I’m excited for that mundane.